Viking Girl Scribbles

I have never made excellent choices in life. Especially when it comes to men. Mostly I'd end up embarrassed and alone, which sucks big time. This time though I was quite sure I’d made a huge mistake. A ginormous one. Cole Belmont had swept me off my feet with his cocky grin and bad boy vibe. The scars covering his body ought to have been a warning sign, but my love-struck brain had put them down as edgy and sexy. I never questioned his disappearances, where he went when he vanished for days without calling or texting. He would come back, sometimes bruised and with a healing wound, other times he wouldn't have a scratch on him. I opened my door and my arms, legs, with a gentle smile and takeaway Chinese food. I told myself I loved him. We had gone to a club downtown, Horizon. It was one of those rare nights when he had asked me to tag along. Most of the time he’d go out and I’d stay at home, waiting for his booty call. “Wear something pretty and I'll pick y...

The wind lifts strands of hair from my face. Sharp light has me closing my eyes again. What's that sound? A quiet humming, hushing, soothing. Images flicker across my mind.  Small island off the coast. Tall beach grass. Sun setting into the ocean. Sifting sand between my fingers. Crying, crying, crying.  I turn onto my side, my sleeping bag making a crinkling sound in protest. The rising sun is behind me. The beach stretching out in front of me. A lone seagull circles the beach, dips towards the sand, rises with the morning breeze.  Stumbling over a wet beach. Finding my way between mounds of shifting sand. To the highest point of the island. A small circle of grass, hiding me from view.  I eat my breakfast with my sleeping bag wrapped as a blanket around my shoulders. Morning light colours the water a pale blueish grey. There's a sandy crunch to my sandwiches. I don't mind. The seagull is watching me, willing me to share.  The old fisherman had share...

I wish I knew what I was doing. The alley behind the club smells of piss and garbage, but Alicia refuses to leave our prime spot by the back door. The band should be coming out soon. According to her this is the way they'll go and not through the front like everyone else seems to think.  The tour bus with THE DAMAGED emblazed on the side tells me she might be right. I'd much rather think like the others because not only does this place literally stink, it’s creepy too. But being best friends with Alicia Wilkins for over 13 years has taught me that she often knows what she's doing. “We’re missing the last song and the encore…” I don’t mean to sound so whiny, but I’ve waited for this night forever. Alicia rolls her eyes and turns to face me. “Allie. Why?” “Oh, shut up Angela. You know why. Unbutton your shirt.” She points at my flannel shirt, but I smack her hand away. “No.” I give her outfit a raised eyebrow. “You be the tart and I'll be the boring one.” She g...

My dear Z, Sometimes I turn to you to tell you something, but you’re not there. Of course you’re not. You had to leave. To tie all those loose ends together, so you can return to me. One day. I spend my days in this strange world of only me and all those little things I have to do. Like yesterday. Do you remember the dress I wore that night we danced until the sun rose? It still had that wine stain and I felt it was time to get it cleaned. Will having my dress cleaned wash away any memories of you? I think our friends worry about me. I catch them looking sometimes, a worried frown on their faces. Am I really that different without you? They don’t ask me about you anymore. I never had answers. I still don’t. My nightmares are a lot worse without you in my bed. There’s no one to turn to when I wake up in a cold sweat, no one to kiss me until I forget everything but the two of us. Come back to me and help me forget. I wear the earring you gave me in a gold chain around my nec...

the smell of leather and cigarettes a memory of a drive through the rain his black hair fell into his eyes an almost smile playing on his lips (a thin white dress revealed almost more than my imagination could ever do) my fingers wanted to touch his lips my heart was too cowardly we drove through the rain with my hands on my knees (to this day I remember that lily of the valley fragrance from your long blond hair) an awkward goodbye raindrops like diamonds the kiss was like a promise between the two of us (your lips slightly parted still haunt me in my dreams)

Night-time in a big hotel is just as boring as it sounds. I’m crazy jet lagged and nothing’s helping. Mom has popped one of those pills her doctor boyfriend has prescribed her, but they make me all weird the next day so I politely declined when she offered. So here I am at 3 AM in Finch Towers, one of the fanciest hotels in New York City, bored out of my mind. I know there’s a pool up on the roof, but apparently someone’s booked the top two floors and that locks the elevators. You need a special key card to access the pool now. I’m out in the corridor outside my room in my swimsuit and flip flops, a towel tossed over my shoulder and the complementary fluffy white bathrobe wrapped around me. I want to swim! I don’t care if the Emperor of the World booked the top floors, if I don't do my laps I’ll never be able to sleep. Walking back towards my room I spot the door leading to the stairwell, we’re just two floors below the pool. I stop and consider my options. I can go back t...