Viking Girl Scribbles

I lied to them. Standing there on the plaza in nothing but the late afternoon sun and my pride, I looked him in the eye and spoke untrue. There had been a softness around his eyes as I silently listened to their accusations. And I know I have those last feelings of tenderness to thank for the folded piece of square cloth I found secured beneath a rock about two hours walk from the city. The rocky desert cut into my feet as the sun’s last rays did their best to add to the sting of sunburn on my naked skin. As I cursed my fate I also thanked the powers which had made the note with my doom fall onto the floor and not be noticed until an hour before I was banished. Night fell and sent cool air all over my body and thoughts. Determination took over from anger and I decided to keep on walking through the night, putting as much desert as possible between me and those who wished me dead. If my memory served me right, and it always did, I would soon leave the rocky desert that surrounded...

he loves me. through all the simstim. the holograms. the fake sensations of the other world. i breathe his breath. the small room full of technology. we hardly ever speak. i hand him everything he needs. never consciously touching. only the brushing of fingers. my fingers through his hair while he’s sleeping. keyboard lovers. i feel his eyes on me. i never look up. never let him know. it would damage. everything. repairing his decks. quietly sitting on his futon. sweet tea and dumplings. raindrops on my hair. on my bare shoulders. the thin dress translucent. his eyes in the other world. waking up. early morning light colouring his hair. his hand. his fingers. on my shoulder. dare i touch his terminal tanned face.

I see you first. have a chance to prepare myself. hide my shame with another layer of lipstick. blink back the tears just in time. “ Hey! Isn't that him? HIM?! ” I turn around, as if I don’t have a clue of who they mean, eye contact, but no smiles. sinking through the floor I order another drink.  unsolicited advice. “ Find someone else tonight… Make sure you’re by yourself all night… Talk and laugh really loudly with as many people as possible… he won’t be able to take his eyes off of you! ” I don’t want to be noticed by anyone. your gaze peels my skin off. warm, crowded, freezing, noisy, too many people. buying the furies one last drink. the maenads scream of laughter. I can’t stop smiling, compulsive, plastic. knowing you’re seeing through it all, the night’s charades are for everyone else. never for you. a thin new layer of skin, it’s been a few hours since I saw you last. aching feet. a run in my stockings, a heart as broken as when I chose my outfit this afternoon...

The scent of lilac mixes with the smell of the exhaust from the idle truck parked down the street. The wind pulls at my dress and I have to grab it to prevent it from flashing my panties. Marilyn Monroe would have been jealous. I was planning to be gone from here by now, but the real estate agent is late and now there’s a risk that you’ll get here before I have a chance to disappear. Closing my eyes I kill off the butterflies in my stomach. I can’t let my emotions take over. They’re all just memories and memories will never make you happy. I know. I’ve tried. The sun's rays caress my cheek and your voice whispers memories. "Come to me babe." Your soft and warm skin against mine. "One more kiss." All my resistance, useless. I know I'm lying to myself when I say I don’t want to see you again. Why else would I wear your favorite dress. With trembling hands I button the matching yellow cardigan and fiddle with the straps of my purse. Not that I ne...

They more or less kicked us out from the night club. I really can't remember how we met tonight., why you and I ended up together when there were all those other girls fighting over you. Or did I choose you? The whole night is a fuzzy strobe lit blur of too many people downing too many drinks. As they turned on the lights and the music off I was holding my best friend’s hand, when I had put my cardigan on I was holding yours. Your grin was a wonky drunken version of the flawless smile I’ve come to know. I prefer your grin to your smile. Where had you come from? I had no memory of us even looking at each other in the club. I had seen you during the night, but why were you the one here right now? My phone told me its battery was getting low, it was 2.30am a lukewarm night in July and I wasn’t ready to go home. My words had abandoned me, they drunkenly scrambled around my brain trying to find a way out, so I let you you my hand and offered you a wobbly smile. The ...

She is awakened by her own screaming. Black dreams slither down into her subconsciousness. Her mouth feels dry and her voice is cracked. "Light." Fluorescent light flickers to life. It takes a while for her eyes to get used to the brightness.  The walls, floor and ceiling are sterile and white, as are the sheets and the screen hiding the toilet and basin, both made of stainless steel. The sheets are damp from sweat and the nightgown is sticking to her legs. She lifts the covers and looks down at her body, realizing that the nightgown is sticking to her thighs because she’s bled a little. Weakly she gets up and makes her way towards the toilet. She sits down and pulls her nightgown off, throwing it in the corner.  With trembling hands she begins to wash away the blood, trying to avoid touching the stomach. One arm touches the soft mass, she shudders. She’s not yet become accustomed to not carrying someone. A hissing voice cuts through her thoughts. "Something......

I knew straight away what would happen, live long enough with a man that’s incapable of being faithful and you get to know his ‘type’. Blue eyed blondes were on the top of his list, and her being so young would make him want her even more. The eyes were the bluest of blue, the kind you don’t believe are real and when you do find out it’s their actual eye colour you just want to tear them out and wear them yourself. Looking into the mirror I often wonder why he chose me at all, mousy brown hair and forest green eyes, I’m nothing like the women he covets. Frail limbs and womb that’s killed every child he put in there, there is nothing about me that would explain why I’m his wife. But I am! The ring on my finger and the picture on the wall remind me of this and I have no intention of sharing him with anyone. No more. It ends right now. He lingers by the car, fiddling with his phone. Casts a few glances at her house before typing something. That smile. It was the smile that ...